Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Police arrest serial parking lot pooper

A Massachusetts woman was busted for allegedly turning a store parking lot into her own personal potty — pooping there a staggering eight times in roughly a month. Dubbed the “Parking Lot Pooper,” the 51-year-old woman of Ashland, Massachusetts was allegedly caught dropping trou near the Natick Outdoor Store  recently. Police said they had been investigating since the fecal matter began showing up last month. “At first, [workers] thought it was an animal but then they noticed toilet paper and other wipes — items animals would not have access to,” said police spokeswoman when the first feces was found in early December. After staking out the site, a cop allegedly spotted the woman letting her bowels loose out of the door of her 2018 Lincoln MKX SUV early on morning. When confronted, she told the officer she has irritable bowel syndrome and was on her way to her job as a nanny, a police report says. But she was allegedly seen waiting some 10 minutes for a nearby train and other traffic to clear out before doing the deed — and the cop pointed out that there were plenty of public restrooms nearby, the outlet reported. The officer also called her employer, who confirmed she could have just pooped at their house. At her arraignment, her lawyer called her a “pillar of the community” who works full time. She was charged with wanton destruction of property, and released without bail. She is due back in court March 2nd. (Metro West Daily News)

Doctors beg men not to masturbate with banana peels

Doctors have warned horny young men to refrain from using banana peels to masturbate — the latest bizarre sex trend circulating on social media. However, some medical experts advise against the perverse practice saying a person could develop a rash and sores on the penis which can be painful and might lead to infection. Not only that, but a person with a fruit or latex allergy could be more susceptible to a reaction from a banana skin. Banana peels aren’t the first unconventional items employed by pleasure-seekers. This past November, gynecologists warned women not to masturbate with electric toothbrushes because it “could cause trauma to the delicate vulval area.” (The Sun)

34 service members diagnosed with traumatic brain injuries after Iran missile attack: Pentagon

The Pentagon now says 34 American service members have been diagnosed with traumatic brain injuries (TBI) following the Iranian missile attack on the Al Asad airbase in western Iraq on January 8th. Half of the service members have returned to duty, while the remaining 17 service members have been flown to Germany and the United States for further observation. The updated numbers are a significant increase over last week’s disclosure that 11 service members had received treatment for possible Traumatic Brain Injuries. Initially the Pentagon had said that there were no injuries or fatalities as a result of the Iranian missile attack on the base that is home to 2,000 service members. (ABC News)

Buffalo Wild Wings to give away free food if Super Bowl goes into OT

Buffalo Wild Wings is making a side bet with football fans ahead of the biggest game of the year. The chicken wings restaurant chain is betting this year’s Super Bowl LIV pitting the Kansas City Chiefs against the San Francisco 49ers will not go into overtime. If it does, it says it will give free wings to everyone in the U.S. and Canada. According to Buffalo Wild Wings gaming partner BetMGM, the moneyline for the game going into overtime opened at +875, meaning a $100 bet would net $975 (including stake) if the game goes to OT. This translates to Vegas thinking America has approximately a 10% chance of winning free wings! Overtime is far from a longshot, with two postseason games having already gone to OT. If that trend continues in the final game of the season, everyone in the U.S. and Canada will win free wings on February 17 from 4-7 p.m. local time. The Super Bowl takes place Sunday, February 2nd. (Inspire Brands)

More than 97,000 gallons of red wine spilled at a vineyard, making its way into a California river

A creek near a Sonoma County, California, vineyard is now a bit more refined after more than 97,000 gallons of wine spilled last week. The wine was red and had the volume to fill eight large tanker trucks. The culprit was a blending tank door at Rodney Strong Vineyards that popped open, spilling 97,112 gallons, according to a report from the Governor’s Office of Emergency Services. The spill has since been stopped and 20% of it has been contained, but an estimated 46,000 to 96,000 gallons have leaked into the Russian River, the report said. The Russian River originates in Mendocino County and flows into the Pacific Ocean north of the San Francisco Bay. There have been no report of fish deaths, but the acidity of the wine is likely to kill insects the fish feed on, said Don McEnhill the executive director of Russian Riverkeeper. The winery is conducting an internal investigation and is cooperating with authorities. (KTLA)

UPDATE: Suit filed against Christian school that expelled girl after rainbow birthday photo

A Kentucky high school student’s parents have filed a lawsuit against a Christian school whose administrators expelled the girl earlier this month after images appeared on social media showing her celebrating her 15th birthday while wearing a rainbow sweater and smiling next to a rainbow cake. The suit, filed Thursday (1/23), contends that Louisville’s Whitefield Academy expelled the teen, who is referred to as “K.K.” in court documents, due to her perceived sexuality. “Essentially, the school expelled K.K. because they believed that K.K. was gay. As such, in Whitefield’s view, it would be difficult to “achieve the goal of [K.K.] becoming Christ-like,” the suit states. “In so doing, Whitefield invaded K.K.’s privacy, defamed K.K., breached its contract with K.K.’s parents, and inflicted serious emotional distress on K.K. Certainly, in 2020 it is unbelievable that conversations like this one are still occurring — and that lawsuits like this one are still necessary.” While rainbows can have many meanings, in addition to being a meteorological phenomenon, they’ve served as a universal symbol of gay pride and acceptance since the late 1970s. Whitefield Academy claimed the rainbow-filled social media photo was just the last straw following two years of student code violations. They parents wanted to share their daughter’s story because she believes the teen was treated “unjustly” and she wants to prevent anyone else from being subjected to similar treatment. (NBC News)

Virginia Senate Passes Bill For Schools To Provide Menstrual Products

The Virginia Senate unanimously passed a bill requiring public schools to include free menstrual products in their bathrooms. Senate Bill 232 applies to schools that educate fifth-to-12th graders. According to the Virginia Department of Education, this encompasses 132 school districts and almost over 630,000 female students. The bill was passed unanimously on the Senate floor with a vote of 40-0. It requires each school board to make tampons and pads available at all times and at no cost to public school students. The schools also must have 40% of enrolled students who are eligible for free or reduced lunch. (Virginia’s Legislative Information System)

Naked man arrested in Maumelle after trying to board school bus with kids inside

A naked man attempted to board a school bus occupied by children in Maumelle, Arkansas, according to police. The Maumelle Police Department were called to the parking lot of America’s Best Value Inn. Once officers arrived the man had tried to get into a school bus with two adults and six children inside. The man was taken into custody by Maumelle Police then taken to a hospital for evaluation. Police say the man is facing charges of Disorderly Conduct, Criminal Trespass and Possession of Marijuana. His name is not yet being released. (KARK)

Woman survives being crushed by stove, pinned in home for days

According to a Omaha, Nebraska police report, officers went to a home recently after a resident called to say that a 70-year-old neighbor had not been seen or heard from for a couple of days. Her curtains had been left open and her lights were on, which was unusual. Officers knocked but received no answer. A staff member unlocked the apartment door and officers began to search inside the residence. One officer discovered the resident on the floor in the kitchen. The oven had tipped over and was resting on the woman’s head. There was blood on the wall and floor. Officers estimated she had been there for up to two days. The woman was semiconscious and breathing, and was rushed to the hospital. (KETV)

Navy officials investigating secretly recorded Pornhub videos of service members

US Navy officials are investigating who secretly recorded service members through a bathroom peephole and posted dozens of the videos on a porn site, according to a report. The videos, which were shared on Pornhub, captured several sailors and Marines while wearing their uniforms with visible name patches, two military officials say. The people were seen changing their clothes, but the officials said they were unaware of any sexual acts. Some civilians also were recorded, they added. An agent from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service discovered the videos on the adult site earlier this month. Some of the people captured in the videos were assigned to the USS Emory S. Land, a ship that supplies submarines and is assigned to a port in Guam, the officials said. It was unclear when the videos were recorded. NCIS agents have begun notifying the people identified in the footage but the investigation is continuing. Pornhub Vice President said the site received a removal request from the NCIS and that it complied. (NY Post)

Tuesday Comes As A Blessing With:

• Data Privacy Day
• National Kazoo Day
• National Pediatrician Day
• National Plan For A Vacation Day (Last Tuesday)
• Rubber Ducky Day
• Thank A Plugin Developer Day