Thursday, January 21, 2021

00‘Cocaine bananas’ arrive at grocery stores after mix up from Colombia

The Royal Canadian Mounty Police has concluded an almost two-year-long international drug investigation after finding nearly two dozen bricks of cocaine in bananas shipped to Central Okanagan grocers in February 2019 when a grocery store in Kelowna reported it had found 12 bricks of what was believed to be illicit drugs in a shipment of bananas. That same day, a West Kelowna grocer reported nine more similar packages in its banana shipment. The packages, weighing around one kilogram each, were seized by the RCMP for continued investigation. The packages were later confirmed to contain cocaine. Working with the Canada Border Service Agency, investigators determined the shipments originated in Colombia. However, the Kelowna RCMP’s drug section doesn’t believe the shipments were meant to end up in the Okanagan, arriving only as a result of a “missed pick up at some point along the way.” The RCMP said experts estimate the two surprise shipments would have introduced 800,000 doses of crack cocaine into the Canadian illicit drug market. “That’s enough contraband for every resident in the City of Kelowna to receive nearly six doses each,” reads the RCMP’s release. (Vernon Morning Star)

Capitol rioter arrested after sending ‘selfie’ to girlfriend’s brother – a federal agent

A New York man has now been charged with participating in the January 6th gathering in D.C. after allegedly texting a picture and video of himself in the Capitol to his girlfriend’s brother who is a special agent with the U.S. Diplomatic Security Service. According to a probable cause affidavit filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, the agent, who is a federal officer employed by the U.S. Department of State, reported the photo and video to the Diplomatic Security Service, which then passed it along to the Joint Terrorism Task Force. The agent reportedly saw a post from his sister on Facebook that her boyfriend was in D.C. “at the rally” on January 6. The agent texted boyfriend, who allegedly confirmed his presence and sent him a “selfie” of him in the Capitol Rotunda, along with a video and a text saying he was “at the tip of the spear.” The boyfriend retired from the New York Fire Department in October after 22 years. He is at least the second retired firefighter to be charged in connection with the Capitol riot. The boyfriend faces charges of entering a restricted building or grounds and impeding the orderly conduct of government business or official functions. (WUSA)

**WARNING: MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES!**

Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘vagina’ candle reportedly explodes in UK woman’s home

This Gwyneth Paltrow candle didn’t pass the smell test, according to a report. A “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle that the actress peddles on Goop exploded into flames in the living room of a UK woman who won the odoriferous product in a quiz. “The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere,” said the 50-year-old woman. “I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room,” she added. She ended up throwing the flaming candle out the front door. “It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s vagina candle exploded in my living room,” she said. The 48-year-old Gwyneth Paltrow launched the $75 candle emitting her private scent in January 2020. Scent notes include geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed, according to her online store. (The New York Post)

**WARNING: MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES!**

1st preserved dinosaur butthole is ‘perfect’ and ‘unique,’ paleontologist says

The first dinosaur butthole ever discovered is shedding light where the sun don’t shine. The discovery reveals how dinosaurs used this multipurpose opening, scientifically known as a cloacal vent, for pooping, peeing, breeding and egg laying. The dinosaur’s derrière is so well preserved, researchers could see the remnants of two small bulges by its “back door,” which might have housed musky scent glands that the reptile possibly used during courtship, an anatomical quirk also seen in living crocodilians, said scientists who studied the specimen. Although this dinosaur’s caboose shares some characteristics with the backsides of some living creatures, it’s also a one-of-a-kind opening, the researchers found. “The anatomy is unique,” said study lead researcher and a paleobiologist at the University of Bristol in the United Kingdom. It doesn’t quite look like the opening on birds, which are the closest living relatives of dinosaurs. It does look a bit like the back opening on a crocodile, he said, but it’s different in some ways. The well-preserved booty belongs to the dinosaur Psittacosaurus, a bristly tailed, Labrador-size, horn-faced dinosaur, meaning it was a relative of Triceratops. Like its famous tri-horned cousin, Psittacosaurus lived during the Cretaceous period, which lasted from about 145 million to 65 million years ago. (Live Science)

Mysterious Baked Potatoes Crop Up at Wayland Library

The Wayland Free Public Library in Massachusetts is asking people to keep their eyes peeled for whoever’s been leaving them baked potatoes. The library’s front lawn has accumulated a couple of baked russet potatoes under mysterious circumstances. The first potato appeared on Monday. The second popped up on Thursday, according to the library. In a Facebook post, they jokingly wondered if the potatoes are part of a “rare potato” migration or if a kid on a bus was revolted by a packed lunch and tossed it out the window. The library would like residents to chip in any information they have about the provenance of the baked potatoes. (Wayland Free Public Library Facebook)

No pardon for “Tiger King” Joe Exotic

President Donald Trump left office yesterday (1/20) without granting the former Oklahoma zookeeper a pardon. Afterward, Joe Exotic lashed out on social media at the president and his son, Donald Trump Jr. Early Wednesday (1/20), the White House announced Trump had granted pardons to 73 individuals and commuted the sentences of another 70. In his final hours, Trump granted one additional pardon. Joe Exotic’s legal team had a limousine ready to go and hyped up the possibility of his release so much in the media that it became a trending topic on Twitter. In social media postings, Joe Exotic said he was praying he was on the list. (The Oklahoman)

Speaking of Joe Exotic: New owners of Tiger King zoo ordered to surrender cubs

The new owners of an Oklahoma zoo featured in the hit Netflix documentary “Tiger King” have been ordered to surrender all tiger cubs and their mothers to the federal government. The case was filed against the owners of the Greater Wynnewood Exotic Animal Park. They are accused of violating the Endangered Species Act and the Animal Welfare Act. One of the owners is the former business partner of Joe Exotic, real name Joseph Maldonado-Passage, who is currently serving a 22-year sentence for his involvement in a contract killing plot and animal abuse. The court found that the pair’s “failure to provide safe conditions, proper nutrition, and timely veterinary care resulted in harm to a number of animals, including the death of two tiger cubs less than a week apart”. The court rejected claims by the Lowes that they were not “exhibitors” under the Animal Welfare Act as the zoo was still under construction. (Yahoo News)

SpaceX bought two former Valaris oil rigs to build floating launchpads for its Starship rocket

Elon Musk’s SpaceX bought two deepwater oil rigs last year and is converting them into floating launchpads, to support the enormous Starship rockets that the company is developing. The rigs are in the Port of Brownsville, near SpaceX’s Starship development facility in Boca Chica, Texas. The rigs have been renamed Deimos and Phobos, presumably in homage to the Martian moons. Starship is the enormous rocket that SpaceX is developing to meet Musk’s goal of launching cargo and as many as 100 people at a time on missions to the moon and Mars. The rocket is SpaceX’s top priority, with SpaceX flying its most recent prototype to its highest altitude yet during a test flight in December. The Starship prototype launched to about 40,000 feet and completed several development objectives, despite exploding on impact when it attempted to land. SpaceX has been publicly hiring for offshore operations positions since last year, when the company posted that it was building “a team of engineers and technicians to design and build an operational offshore rocket launch facility.” (Elon Musk Twitter)

Florida man shot in the stomach after attempting to scare friend

A fishing trip went wrong for two friends from Miami, Florida. A 31-year-old man changed his clothes and hid in the woods while his friend went to their car at around 5:30 a.m. When he attempted to scare the friend by jumping out of the woods, the friend drew his 9mm handgun and shot him once in the stomach, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Helicopter transport landed on the bridge and flew the victim to Jackson South Medical Center. Whether or not charges will be filed remains part of the ongoing investigation, deputies reported. (NBC 2)

Lord help us all, “monkey tail beards” are now a thing

Yes, you read correctly. Monkey Tail Beards are popping up in society. First, imagine a monkey tail, next imagine it wrapped around a young man’s face, starting under the nose, curling down one cheek, and reaching all the way round to the opposite ear. To begin, it seems you must first grow a beard, the thicker the better. Then, with a freshly sharpened razor begin shaving at one cheek, carefully following a straight line all the way down to the chin. Next, shave a patch under your bottom lip with a curved edge to form the first curve of the tail. Last, shave alongside the bottom of the chin strip all the way to the ear, leaving a nice long line of bushy hair. Go back and refine any edges if you need, as the smoother the curves, the more effective it will be. (Happy Magazine)

Malwarebytes said it was hacked by the same group who breached SolarWinds

US cyber-security firm Malwarebytes announced it was hacked by the same group which breached IT software company SolarWinds last year. Malwarebytes said its intrusion is not related to the SolarWinds supply chain incident since the company doesn’t use any of SolarWinds software in its internal network. Instead, the security firm said the hackers breached its internal systems by exploiting a dormant email protection product within its Office 365 tenant. Malwarebytes said it learned of the intrusion from the Microsoft Security Response Center (MSRC) on December 15th, which detected suspicious activity coming from the dormant Office 365 security app. Malwarebytes said that once it learned of the breach, it began an internal investigation to determine what hackers accessed. (ZDNet)

Dinosaur fossils could belong to the world’s largest ever creature

Experts have uncovered the remains of a gigantic dinosaur in Argentina and believe it could be one of the largest creatures to have ever walked the Earth. Paleontologists discovered the fossilized remains of a 98 million-year-old titanosaur in Neuquén Province in Argentina’s northwest Patagonia, in thick, sedimentary deposits known as the Candeleros Formation. The 24 vertebrae of the tail and elements of the pelvic and pectoral girdle discovered are thought to belong to a titanosaur, a diverse group of sauropod dinosaurs, characterized by their large size, a long neck and tail, and four-legged stance. Experts say they believe the creature to be “one of the largest sauropods ever found” and could exceed the size of a Patagotitan, a species which lived 100 million to 95 million years ago and measured up to a staggering 122 feet long. Titanosaur fossils have been found on all continents except Antarctica. But the biggest “multi-ton” varieties of the species, including those titanosaurs exceeding 40 tons, have mostly been discovered in Patagonia. Without analyzing the dinosaur’s humerus or femur, experts say it is not yet possible to say how much the creature weighs. However, the partially recovered dinosaur “can be considered one of the largest titanosaurs,” experts said, with a probable body mass exceeding or comparable to that of a Patagotitan or Argentinosaurus. (Cretaceous Research)

Man charged with girlfriend’s murder in Australia after waking up from coma

A 21-year-old man has been charged with the murder of his girlfriend, almost seven months after he fell from the fourth floor balcony of his apartment. He was found with critical head injuries in June 2020. His 19-year-old girlfriend was found dead inside their home the following day. Police had been told he fell several stories, though it was not yet clear whether his fall was intentional. After spending nearly seven months in an induced coma, the young man woke to detectives by his bedside at the hospital. Detectives allege his girlfriend was badly beaten to death in June last year, and charged him with her murder. Originally from China, the pair had been in relationship for two years and were both studying in Australia on student visas. The boyfriend has been refused bail and was due to face court via video link. (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Thursday Thumps Back With:

• Cheesy Socks Day
• Granola Bar Day
• Get to Know Your Customers Day (3rd Thursday of Each Quarter)
• Hugging Day
• Hug Your Puppy Day
• International Sweatpants Day
• Squirrel Appreciation Day
• Women’s Healthy Weight Day